Over my 40 years in Funeral Directing I have seen some really messy situations, with funeral directives in wills that could easily have been avoided. 

“Who is the executor” I asked a family recently, “I” have the EPOA” replied a daughter.  –  I outlined the difference between EPOA and executor which is, that the Executor, sometimes call the ‘Trustee, (outlined in the 1st clause of the will) is the person assigned legal & financial decisions after death.  These decisions include Funeral expense decisions.   With a grumpy tone the daughter replied, “my Ex”.  In this case the son-in-law, now estranged from the daughter, was Executor and made life very difficult for the 3 daughters left behind.  

Last week was ‘WILLS WEEK” in New Zealand, and this time of year is a good time to review your will and who you have ‘left in charge’’  – In days gone by the lawyer was often appointed as the Executor, and this saved a lot of issues, but this is not always the right answer if the estate is small and the legal costs prohibitive. 

Another example I had recently with a family was where the deceased thought it helpful to make his spouse AND all the children, joint executors.  Not the 1st time this has happened, but it sure makes things difficult, as now you have to have everyone agreeing on everything.  That is a long and winding road that always leads to nasty corners to navigate. 

My advice is to think carefully and act wisely.  Being an Executor can be a lot of work and is often a thankless task, I know, I’ve done it several times, so please don’t ask me! Do, though, choose someone with integrity, someone with financial intelligence and someone who has the time and energy to put into this.  Choose a deputy in case they are not available.  The right person as Executor can really make a difference at a difficult time. 

Lastly leave some Funeral Instructions, burial or cremation and not too many other directives.  The most useful I have seen on a will for funeral advice is… Cremation, and a simple send off, BUT I am happy with whatever you think is best for your grieving!