In recent times, an increasing number of people are opting out of traditional Funerals thinking they are sparing their loved ones from undue stress. Many are choosing ‘just a cremation’ with no farewell at all, but this intention to alleviate ‘causing a fuss’ is giving rise to a myriad of unresolved grief issues for those left behind.
I recently spoke on National radio about the national statistics showing 22% of families now moving this way, and a corresponding increase in grief and unresolved grief issues evidenced through counselling services concerns. Attached is a link to the short interview. Also available on our blog page on the Funeral Home website. https://www.rnz.co.nz/audio/player?audio_id=2018924210
“What could be done differently?”
Sunset Funeral Story “Just cremate her” said one of the two friends left to arrange the farewell of a close friend. With no immediate family, the two close friends were co-executors and left to make arrangements. “I am happy to arrange a cremation” I began, and quickly segwayed into general conversation establishing what the ladies liked to do together, and soon we were talking nice food, ‘bubbles’, and beautiful sunsets. “I don’t suppose you can arrange a good sunset” joked one of the ladies and after a lengthy discussion they agreed I could arrange a gathering at our Kapiti Cremation chapel for 7 pm the next evening. Why 7 pm? Well, our Kapiti Crematorium chapel looks down the Awa Tapu Valley to the end of Kapiti Island, and the Ocean where the sunsets from there are spectacular. – It was a lovely gathering with just a handful of people with nice food and bubbles and the sunset was fabulous, the two friends were super grateful … but if it hadn’t been a good sunset… well, we could have easily postponed it till the next night! After all, we own the place!
Sometimes turning nothing into a simple, dignified, and very personal means ..everything!
What is the answer moving forward?
Two things
1 – Talk about and write down some of the things you want for your farewell
2 – Add into your wish list, not just your own desires but also things that might help those close to you grieve well.
If you are not sure, it’s good to ‘Take Time to Talk’ about it.
