In recent times, an increasing number of people are opting out of traditional Funerals thinking they are sparing their loved ones from undue stress. Many are choosing ‘just a cremation’ with no farewell at all, but this intention to alleviate ‘causing a fuss’ is giving rise to a myriad of unresolved grief issues for those left behind.

National statistics from 2023 Funeral Industry report showing 22% of families now moving this way, and the corresponding increase in unresolved grief concerns now being raised through counselling services nationwide.

What could be done differently? – Here’s My ‘Whoops An Advert’ Funeral Story

“Just cremate her,” said the son. There’s only me, my sister is in Australia, so no need for a Funeral”. I talked with him and it was soon evident that there were others, caregivers, old friends, a neighbour and others who also loved his mother. I suggested he arrange an afternoon tea at his home to help with their closure and also suggested he take a chance to say farewell at the chapel. He did arrange an afternoon tea, but unknown to me he also decided to invite those he had invited to the chapel, so when I arrived I found about 20 people gathering. Nothing was planned so I encouraged stories and memories to be shared. His sister was face-timed and joined in, 45 minutes passed quickly. Very informally I suggested we finish with music and the son told of her favourite tune. I found it right then and there on YouTube.
We stood as I clicked play and… a 5-second advert played first. They all laughed, and a further story of Mum loving TV adverts continued before I played that final track. The son left so thankful for the suggestions he does more, and thankful for the chance for others and his sister to be a part of the goodbye.

Sometimes turning nothing into a simple, dignified, and very personal farewell means everything!

What is the answer moving forward? Two things

1 – Talk about and write down some of the things you want for your farewell.

2 – And add to your wish list, not just your own desires, but, also things that might help those close to you grieve well.

If you are not sure, it’s good to ‘Take Time to Talk’ to them about it.