Good Grief – Releasing Doves helps with letting go

So doing something physical, doing something to actually let go really does help a lot of people, particularly those who are very kinesthetic, particularly

those sorts of people who like to do rather than just to hear or or to see.

And doves give a doing and a seeing if not hearing. Um so what we do here at Cupy Coast Funeral Home is that I actually breed the doves at home

and they get used to me. They get used to people. They’re quite comfortable.

It’s not cruel at all. In fact, 99% of their life is just flying around at home. Um, and when they see me, they come rushing because they think I’m going to feed them and start having a chat to me. So, they’re very comfortable when we put them in the hands of a grieving person [music] because they’re used to people. And so, at a funeral, it’s the end, that sort of poignant point at the end when the hearse is about to leave or [music] um you’re going to the crerematorium and you’ve come out and there’s just that moment of what now? And so, letting birds go at that point or even at a graveside after the burial is finished is that sort of final [music] release.

And what we do is we often choose one dove. If there’s particularly if there’s a spouse just to let go or [music] if there’s two children and both mom and

dad have died, then a dove each for the children. Or if there’s a family group, then maybe three or four. The most we’ve let go is seven. Um but [music] normally two or three would be the natural way to do it. And we try and encourage the family to hold them because doves are very gentle, [music] peaceful birds.

They won’t peck you, they won’t bite. um you just need to put your hands under their [music] their legs to hold their body and then they feel really close and secure and they’ll often chat to [music]

you and coup away and then it’s that moment where you say let’s let them go and sometimes people will say goodbye mom or they’ll say some words of release and there’s that really special [music] moment no one that we’ve done a funeral for with yet has come back and said that wasn’t amazing. It’s just something about real life and we’re letting go. So, a time for speaking, [music] a time for doing, and this is a time for releasing. And we think doves

are a really great way to do that.